So It Flows
by Gleek4
Summary: Kurt's facade begins to crack, and Finn finds him on the floor of the bathroom late one night. M for cutting.


New chapters for Oz and Wings are in the process of being written as well a Monfer fic.

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><p>Crimson trickled down slowly, and a whimper pierced the silent night followed by an unnerving grin. The razor, stained with precious life, lifted away from the open flesh exposing a thin line of budding darkened blood which arose from the skin.<p>

The basement door opened with a clashing crash, and Kurt scrambled to hide his only path to relief. When Finn entered the restroom, Kurt appeared to being doing nothing more than fixing his hair.

"Sorry, bro, I didn't know you were in here." Kurt only shrugged and inched around Finn so he could climb into his welcoming bed despite the fact that it was only seven in the evening.

When Kurt woke in the morning, he dressed in his normal fashion sense and plastered a smile upon his face.

"You seem cherry this morning. What's up?" Kurt turned from his vanity where he had finished the touches to his hair to see Finn stretching near the bottom of the stairs.

"Nothing, it's just close to the weekend." Kurt replied softly.

Finn chuckled in response before heading up the stairs. His booming voice could be heard throughout the house when he asked his mother if she would be making pancakes for him before school.

Nose turned up and a set stoic appearance in place, Kurt sauntered into William McKinley's High School with as much pride as he could gather.

As he collected his books, Kurt spotted Blaine, and he quickly adverted his eyes. A few weeks ago, Kurt had walked into the Lima Bean where he found Blaine chatting up Sebastian, an ex-Warbler. From a distant, everything seemed simply platonic before Kurt watched Blaine glance around just before he pushed his lips to the other's who kissed back enthusiastically.

When Kurt broke it off with Blaine, the boy barely seemed phased, and he was official dating Sebastian with a week.

An overwhelming pain pushed through Kurt, and he broke down in the safety of the bathroom while he took a temporary relief with the sharp razor blade which cut through the pale skin of his arm as easily as a knife would butter.

During Glee, Kurt remained quiet speaking only when he spoken. Finn glanced back at him only once, but Kurt avoided all means of eye contact feeling as if Finn would see his sins in his clear blue eyes.

"Does anyone have a song to perform?" Mr. Shuester asked, and Blaine immediately stood to take the center of the room.

Kurt had the impulse to roll his eyes; Blaine had chosen _Chasing Cars _by Snow Patrol. While the ex-warbler sang, Kurt stared into his hands attempting to ignore the lyrics. When the piano rang out its final last note, Mr. Shuester dismissed the class. Kurt hurried from the room collecting his homework before rushing off to his car where he waited for Finn.

The ride home was quiet, and Finn tried his best make small talk. "Have you picked a song to perform yet?"

"I think so," Kurt murmured softly keeping his eyes trained on the road.

"Kurt?"

"Hmm"

"Why is there a bruise on your neck?" Kurt tugged on the collar of his coat to effectively hide the marking once more. "Has someone done something to you?"

Kurt didn't say a word; however, it was obvious someone had hurt him. The bruises upon his neck matched thick fingers which had wound around Kurt's neck. The death threats forced upon him soon became more than welcomed, and he wished for it with every fiber of his being.

"_You sick little vermin, what gives you the right to live? Death is too kind for you. You deserve to suffer here, and I suppose it's my job to make sure you get the right the punishment."_ _Kurt's demented smile framed his face while he choked for air. His world spun, and finally kind darkness dawned upon him. He was left behind the dumpsters at school, and when he woke, Kurt frown for he had waken to the same horrid life._

"Holy shit, Kurt!" Kurt snapped out of his sudden daze, and swerved back into his lane. "Pull over, Kurt, I'm driving."

"I'm fine," Kurt protested.

"Pull over!" Shaking to the bone, Kurt pulled onto the side of road, and he nearly leapt from the driver's seat. The back road was quiet and lacked traffic, so Kurt took his time to walk on shaky legs over to the passenger side.

Finn didn't hesitate to climb into the driver's seat, and we wait patiently for the other boy to get back into the car.

"What is wrong with you?" Finn asked quietly.

Kurt didn't say anything; he watched the trees rid themselves of their leaves while Finn drove the remainder of the way home.

"_One day, you are going to die a horrible death, and no one is going to be around to mourn for you. Tears shall not be shed for you, and kind words will not be spoken for your remembrance…"_

"Kurt, we're home." Fingers snapped in front of Kurt's face, and the boys started to pull away from his thoughts returning to the present. Picking up a manicured hand, Finn ran his fingers over the silk skin, but Kurt pulled away violently before clumsily pulling down the sleeve of his jacket in order to protect his hidden relief from the eyes of others.

Shocked by the sudden movement caused Finn to flinch back, and with one last lingering look to Kurt to sat with his hands clenching and unclenching together.

Dinner that would have seemed simple to any outsiders looking in, but to Finn, tension filled the air. Burt and Carole flirted shamelessly which was nothing new, but Finn glanced at his step-brother every once in a while to see that he stared down at his untouched meal. Finally, Kurt excused himself and nudged his filled plate towards Finn who ate the remaining chicken and noodles though the majority had gone cold.

Kurt was quiet for the rest of the day, but when he woke in the morning plastering on the best smile he could mange, Finn couldn't see a single issue.

When Friday finally rolled around, Kurt was finally up for performing his song. When he stood center stage, his presence didn't take control as it typically did, but the other members respected his turn nonetheless. Like a church bell on Sunday morning, a voice rang out weakly before building up with strength.

"_Time has run out, for me.  
>Everything's distant and I don't know what to believe.<br>It's so hard, lost in the world confusion.  
>And I need to leave, for a while.<br>Life is so meaningless, there is nothing worth a smile.  
>So goodbye, I'll miss you."<em>

Kurt stared at the floor beginning to think that singing such an open song was a bad idea, and he couldn't bear look the others in the eye.

"And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.  
>Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.<br>And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.  
>So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.<br>I'm not worth any tears.

It's been the years, of abuse.  
>Neglected to treat the disorder,<br>That controls my youth, for so long.  
>I'm in a fleshy tomb, buried up above the ground.<br>It's no use, why should I hold on?  
>It's been five years, don't need one more.<br>So goodbye, life's abuse.

And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.  
>Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.<br>And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.  
>So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.<br>I'm not worth any tears."

The glee kids were silent, and many jaws hung open. Finn's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but no one said a word while Kurt sat back down in his seat.

Quinn slipped her hand into Kurt's, and the boy looked to his left to see a tear run down her face.

After practice, Mr. Shuester halted Kurt when all the others had left the room. "That the rather uncharacteristic for you, Kurt. Is there anything you need to talk about? Right now, I'm here a friend not a teacher. Feel free to share."

But Kurt shook his head and scurried from the room before bumping abruptly into Finn who had been waiting for him at his locker.

"Dude, are you okay? You've been acting weird…" Finn asked steady Kurt who had recoiled back.

"I'm fine," he smiled gently, so Finn brushed off the song.

That evening, Burt and Carole bid their children farewell as they left hand-in-hand for the weekly date.

As soon as the headlights of the car could no longer be seen, Finn thumped down the basement stairs and instantly flipped on his Xbox grabbing his controller. "May I watch for a bit?" Kurt's usually bold voice softly asked. Finn grunted in response for his mind was already focused solely on the zombies chasing after his animated character.

Though hours past, Finn's eyes never left the screen, and he didn't notice that Kurt no longer sat in the background.

Without thinking, he began to hum the melody Kurt had sang just hours ago. Soon, the humming became words, and before Finn realized it, was he was singing loudly. When Kurt didn't chime in, Finn paused his game and turn around to see that Kurt's bed was empty. Then finally, the words began to register…

_He wasn't needed. _Crimson fluid flowed freely from his wrist where Kurt took his relief.

_He wasn't wanted. _Another small gash across his delicate skin budded red.

_He wasn't noticed. _The next was on the left wrist and dug deeper.

_He was beaten. _The room spun around him.

_He was discriminated against. _Numb blackness swallowed him whole.

_No tears were shed for him. _Fell to the floor he did with a heavy thud.

"Kurt, open the fucking door or I'll break in!" Finn rarely cursed, but his mind had been sent into double time when the lyrics settled in for the second time that day. After a second of complete silence passed except for the quiet eerie music of his paused game, Finn burst into the bathroom, and what his eyes beheld was not made for human eyes to register.

There upon the white tile of the bathroom floor lied Kurt – cadaverous, pale, gaunt - bleeding heavily. The rivets of each tile stood as a canal for the dark liquid pouring for the boy's self-induced injuries, and the white ceiling light reflected across the sheen layer of sweat.

Finn was choking, and finally he found movement. Falling to the floor, Finn pulled Kurt into his lap. Fumbling with his phone, he hurried to call 911.

"My- my brother…he's bleeding. Help- please." Hands shock while they gently brushed back the matted hair. Finn quickly recited his address, and an ambulance was sent off.

"Keep pressure on the wound, sir. Help is on the way." Finn did as he was told, and he wrapped his hands around the bleeding wrists while balancing the phone between his ear and shoulder. Panic set in while blood seep between his fingers.

"It won't stop," he nearly screamed into the phone while messy sobs, opposite to the ones seen on television, washed his face. Droplets fell from his cheeks onto Kurt's white forehead.

"Please, sir, stay calm-

"Mr. Hudson?"

"Down here!" Finn screamed. Paramedics were surrounding the bathroom within seconds, and Kurt was pulled on a stretcher, and the paramedics bandaged the wounded wrists. Finn sat in the background forgot while silent screams rang throughout his atmosphere.

"Mr. Hudson, you will be riding in the ambulance with him. Please call your parents."

Finn scampered into the ambulance, and he couldn't believe that he hadn't thought to call.

"What is it, Finn?"

"Mom, he's hurt…Come to the hospital…" Finn was weeping again.

Carole could hear voices in the background. "He's flat lining!" She heard the gasping of her son, and on the other line Finn watched at the paramedic ripped Kurt's shirt down the middle. "Clear!"  
>"Baby, everything is going to be okay," she whispered through the phone, but she felt guilt pang her chest while she made promises she couldn't make. That was when her son's scream pierced her ear. Kurt jolted off the stretcher as electrical currents artificial pumped his heart.<p>

Time soon became irreverent. At one point, it seemed to stop completely as the paramedics ghosted around the ambulance leaving Finn unnoticed by the passing eyes. So from his background position, Finn watched with wide innocent filled with nothing but complete horror.

When the tortuous ride finally came to an end and the vehicle pulled up to the hospital, Finn followed after the medics before large hands gripped his shoulder, effectively halting him.

"I'm sorry, sir, but only professionals are allowed past this point. Don't worry; he's in good hands." With that, Finn was sent off to the waiting room.

"Finn?" The boy jumped from his seat searching for his mother, abut when he finally found the caller, Burt stepped in front of her.

"What happened to him?" Pleading eyes screamed for details.

"I held him…as he bled." Finn looked down at his hands to see that his hands were caked in blood. Tears jumped back to his already red rimmed orbs. "I'm sorry, Burt. I tried…so much blood..."

Carole wrapped her arms around her son for tears had begun to fall shamelessly.

"Mr. Hummel," a monotone voice called out, and Burt rushed to the weary elderly nurse followed by Finn and Carole. "Sir, you and other family members are now allowed to be escorted to your son's room. I must warn you; he is in critical condition and has not responded to any verbal question or comment directed at him."

Burt hurried his pace to his boy's room, but when he entered; his breath was taken from him. Upon the bed, elevated to a sitting position, was Kurt who stared deeply into his hands.

Though Burt rushed to his son's bedside, Finn remained in the background for the only thing that attracted his eye were the bandages that bond the thin wrists he had held just hours ago.

"Kurt, what happened?" Without noticing the bandages, Burt placed a gentle hand upon his arm.

Under the shadows of his bent face, the twisted smile reappeared as settle pain shot through him.

Finally, Finn could no longer stand to see the unnatural face Kurt wore, so he called out. "Burt, look under your hand!" Angry icy orbs flashed up to Finn, and the smile faded. "Did you…did you try to kill yourself?"

Kurt shook his head, and he leaned back against the bed. "How are you feeling? Do you want to go home?" Kurt nodded, but the nurse stepped in.

"I'm sorry, but he is going to have to spend the night. He has been through a traumatic situation, and a councilor is highly recommended." Blue orbs flickered back up with fear, and the met chocolate eyes.

After the nurse left, the three sat around Kurt who remained silent. Finally, Finn convinced Burt to take his mother home. He wanted to be with Kurt.

"Why, Kurt?" Finn whispered taking a seat beside the bed, and the bedded boy only shrugged. "You scared me so bad."

Kurt scowled while Finn made the situation all about himself whether he realized it or not, and he wanted to scream. _It doesn't matter if you were scared! _

But he remained silent.

"Does it hurt?" Another warped expression distorted his face, and Finn flinched away. "Are you tired?" A nodded confirmed a yes. "Kurt, were you trying to kill yourself?"

For a third time that evening, cold ice stared deep into melted chocolate. "If I had been trying to kill myself, I would be dead right now."

Finn gasped for Kurt had finally spoken, but the words were cruel. With that, despite the cords attached to him, Kurt turned on his side away from Finn. The stunned boy rested his head on Kurt's bed and found sleep coming easier than he would have expected.

The next day, Kurt was released from the hospital, but the elderly nurse who was on the end of her graveyard shift gazed worriedly at him. She had seen so many innocents take their own lives for reason hidden from other.

But it wasn't her place to confront the father, so she watched the young boy leave hopping she wouldn't see him again in the same condition.

"Kurt, you are to show me your wrists every day. If there is one more sign of cutting, I'm going to take you to a councilor to talk about these thoughts you are obviously having that you won't share with your family."  
>The boy scowled. His father was threatening him.<p>

"Finn, you are to watch over you brother. Kurt, while you are in the shower, Finn or I will knock on the door. If you don't answer, that will give your brother or me permission to enter. Do you understand?"

Kurt nodded and went to his room. To his annoyance, Finn followed behind him.

"Can I talk to you?" Finn asked quietly, and Kurt nodded figuring he had no choice. Taking a seat on his bed, Finn patted the spot next to him. Once Kurt was situated next to him, Finn gently played with Kurt's fingers.

"I was the one who found you…obviously since I was the only one home. You- You were on the floor…looking so dead. I held you, held you bleeding wrists. I thought you were going to die…" Without warning, Finn threw his arms around Kurt. Pulling back for only a moment, Finn placed a gentle kiss upon Kurt's forehead.

Kurt neither hugged nor sympathized for the boy. "It would have been better that way," he spoke with confidence, remembering what _they _had said while choking him of life.

"Don't say that!" Finn nearly screamed clutching tighter to the other running a soothing hand through Kurt's soft tresses.

So Kurt said nothing at all.

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><p>Please Review!<p> 


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